I pulled my hair up into a ponytail the other day and was horrified at the proliferation of gray hair around my temple. I've used hair color of some variety since high school. To tell the truth, I wouldn't even know my natural hair color. Except now, it appears as though this aggressive silver strand is acting like an out-of-control weed in the garden. No amount of chemical treatment has successfully eliminated it. I'm losing the battle.
In contemplating the "take-over" of my head, I believe this is yet another step in my growth. For every gray hair I find, there usually is a challenge, a trial and/or obstacle that I have encountered and perhaps even conquered. One huge contributor is worry...worry over your kids. Now that I know something about.
On the flip side, I've been a bit preoccupied with the notion of "patience." I guess that is because I NEED MORE OF IT!!! Can't seem to get enough, whether it is the regular annoyances of communting to work every day, or the rude client on the telephone, or the foibles of my grown children. Unfortunately, when it comes to patience, the need out paces the availability.
Recently, I read an article about patience and it talked about Noah and his Ark. Now, most everyone knows that story and I can see where patience was a valuable commodity when cramming all those animals and people into a small space for 40 days and 40 nights. But that was just the beginning of this ordeal. Pour Noah and his family endured a much longer stay in the floating zoo than I had ever realized. Think about this:
"Forty days and forty nights was only a fraction of their endurance. For instance, do you remember that after they went into the ark and closed the door, they were inside the ark for seven days before the Flood began? (Genesis 7:10.) Now, would that be a test of faith or what? Would you decide, about the fifth day, that it would be awfully nice to spend the weekend picking buttercups in the meadow rather than cleaning the elephants’ stalls and that maybe Noah had made a big mistake?
"Then the rains began. The scripture tells us that on the same day “all the fountains of the great deep [were] broken up, and the windows of heaven were opened.” (Genesis 7:11-12.) It was not until the fortieth day of this torrential downpour and flooding that the water was deep enough to “lift [the ark] up above the earth.” (Genesis 7:17.) And then “the waters prevailed upon the earth an hundred and fifty days.” (Genesis 7:24.) We’re up to 197 days so far.
"The scripture doesn’t tell us how many days it took for the waters to recede, but it says that the ark came to rest on the mountains of Ararat on the seventeenth day of the seventh month (Genesis 8:4), and it took until the first day of the tenth month for the tops of the mountains to become visible. If we hypothesize a month of thirty days—and I realize that there are Bible scholars who make careers out of figuring out the calendar—then we need to add another seventy-three days. Then they waited forty days to send out the raven and the dove, seven more days for the second flight of the dove, who returned with the olive branch, and a final seven days for the third flight. It sounds as if it then took another month plus twenty-seven days before they received the command of the Lord to go forth from the ark. (Genesis 8:3-6, 10, 12-14.) According to my addition, this comes to a total of 401 days. That’s a long time to be cooped up in a floating zoo—a year, a month, and six days!"
So the story of Noah teaches us that there will be adversity, that it will last a long time, and that it will require reserves of patience that seem superhuman. Kinda like my gray hair!
Read this insight from Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin: “I believe that a lack of patience is a major cause of the difficulties and unhappiness in the world today. Too often, we are impatient with ourselves, with our family members and friends, and even with the Lord. We seem to demand what we want right now, regardless of whether we have earned it, whether it would be good for us, or whether it is right...Perhaps the practice of patience is more difficult, yet more necessary, now than at any previous time.”
Choose to be happy folks!!!!
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Make it do or do without
Bogin, Munns & Munns law firm features the Pioneer Motto in one of its' most popular television commercials...
"Fix it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without."
Simple but powerful. Given the state of our economic forcast of late, many are doing without, who for one reason or another are struggling with the loss of everything around them...health, job, marriage. These hardships usually result in tremendous economic stress, not only for the individual, but loved ones who want to help but face many limitations of their own.
I turn my attention to a profound statement by James T. Erekson, a Bishop in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He said, "There are many in our generation who have not known the blessings of economic adversity!” When I first came across that statement, I must confess I wasn't sure how this could be a "blessing." As I thought about it, most people have had, or will face, difficult economic times. I've come to know that the lasting effect of these challenges are often determined by our attitude toward life.
One writer said, “Out of the same substances one stomach will extract nourishment, and another poison; and so the same disappointments in life will chasten and refine one man’s spirit and embitter another’s.”
What makes the difference? My observations and study have concluded those who have a relationship with Jesus Christ, or those who seek a relationship with Jesus Christ, usually fare far better during times of adversity.
Facing a catastrophic event in my own life, I didn't know the Lord and swirled in a whirlpool of pain and anger. I was truly lost. Everything I had put my faith into was of this world. When I finally put my faith in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I began a new journey of hope. The more I sought His help, the stronger I became and started the climb out of the abyss.
In an article by Elder James E. Faust, of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, he said several blessings are available when learning to overcome adversity:
"First, in hard times we have a chance to reevaluate and reorder our priorities in life. We learn what is most important to us. The way is open to strengthen faith and testimony.
"Second, we may learn the need for humility. Our dependence upon the Lord becomes a means of developing teachableness, an important aspect of humility.
"Third, family members learn cooperation and love for each other by being forced to draw closer together to survive. Fourth, personal dignity and self-respect may be achieved. Fifth, we can become stronger and more resilient.
"Sixth, we learn patience. Sometimes economic adversity requires more time than we anticipate. He who learns to bear his adversities while working to overcome them increases in patience, and thus he is not overcome by his circumstances.
"Seventh, we rise to heights previously unobtainable by the use of talents and skills which might not have been developed otherwise. Eighth, we can learn to trust the Lord and thus overcome fear."
I don't profess to have all the answers, that is why I turn my attention to the gospel of Jesus Christ. It might sound simplistic or cliche to those of you who haven't made this journey, but I will testify that through this experience you will find strength and development!
Choose to be happy!
"Fix it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without."
Simple but powerful. Given the state of our economic forcast of late, many are doing without, who for one reason or another are struggling with the loss of everything around them...health, job, marriage. These hardships usually result in tremendous economic stress, not only for the individual, but loved ones who want to help but face many limitations of their own.
I turn my attention to a profound statement by James T. Erekson, a Bishop in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He said, "There are many in our generation who have not known the blessings of economic adversity!” When I first came across that statement, I must confess I wasn't sure how this could be a "blessing." As I thought about it, most people have had, or will face, difficult economic times. I've come to know that the lasting effect of these challenges are often determined by our attitude toward life.
One writer said, “Out of the same substances one stomach will extract nourishment, and another poison; and so the same disappointments in life will chasten and refine one man’s spirit and embitter another’s.”
What makes the difference? My observations and study have concluded those who have a relationship with Jesus Christ, or those who seek a relationship with Jesus Christ, usually fare far better during times of adversity.
Facing a catastrophic event in my own life, I didn't know the Lord and swirled in a whirlpool of pain and anger. I was truly lost. Everything I had put my faith into was of this world. When I finally put my faith in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I began a new journey of hope. The more I sought His help, the stronger I became and started the climb out of the abyss.
In an article by Elder James E. Faust, of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, he said several blessings are available when learning to overcome adversity:
"First, in hard times we have a chance to reevaluate and reorder our priorities in life. We learn what is most important to us. The way is open to strengthen faith and testimony.
"Second, we may learn the need for humility. Our dependence upon the Lord becomes a means of developing teachableness, an important aspect of humility.
"Third, family members learn cooperation and love for each other by being forced to draw closer together to survive. Fourth, personal dignity and self-respect may be achieved. Fifth, we can become stronger and more resilient.
"Sixth, we learn patience. Sometimes economic adversity requires more time than we anticipate. He who learns to bear his adversities while working to overcome them increases in patience, and thus he is not overcome by his circumstances.
"Seventh, we rise to heights previously unobtainable by the use of talents and skills which might not have been developed otherwise. Eighth, we can learn to trust the Lord and thus overcome fear."
I don't profess to have all the answers, that is why I turn my attention to the gospel of Jesus Christ. It might sound simplistic or cliche to those of you who haven't made this journey, but I will testify that through this experience you will find strength and development!
Choose to be happy!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Exercise in Patience
I've come to learn that the ability to exercise patience is the one true vehicle that will carry us through to the realization of life's greatest rewards. The irony of that statement is that you must "exercise" patience and if any of you are like me, I'm not so good with exercise.
When I began blogging, it was never my intent to use it as a confessional. But an experience Friday evening begs to be shared, for the lesson I learned was so powerful I think it will benefit others to hear.
It's the much-anticipated Friday night. The end of a long week at work. Time for some R&R. Unfortunately, no social plans so I pick the next best thing...manicure and pedicure. What could be more relaxing than that? I enter my favorite nail salon and realize I wasn't the only one looking for a little pampering. It's jam packed. Do I wait or do I bolt, go home and eat leftovers watching a bad cable movie?
Reluctantly, I put my name on the list, pick my polish and take a seat. The waiting area is overflowing and I notice an entire family of five taking up most of the seats. The woman was there to have her nails done and brought husband, two toddlers and a baby in tow! I don't know about you but my first thought was this decision of mine was quickly turning into a nightmare. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out why this man wanted to sit in a crowded salon on a Friday night with three little kids? Selfishly, I believed this would become a serious disruption to the salon atmosphere of peace and tranquility.
My tension starts to build for no other reason than I am fixated on this family. The husband was covered in tatoos and dressed in a manner that enhanced his "thug" appearance. I'm ashamed to admit I began conjuring up reasons why he had to accompany his wife to the salon and none of them were complimentary. I was about to throw in the towel and head home for the bland leftovers when a thought crossed my mind -- chill out. You don't know those people and you are no one to judge. I took a deep breath and did just that, stayed put and chilled out.
Before I knew it they were calling my name. As I sat, I glanced over to the table where the woman was having her nails done, surrounded by her entire family. I noticed how well-behaved the children were. Lovely actually. I watched as the husband tenderly held his baby girl as the technician painted her tiny nails hot pink. I observed the wife quietly and lovingly giving directions to the toddlers. I was astonished when the husband left for a few minutes to change the baby's diaper!
Pretty soon, I was no longer self-absorbed. I couldn't stop watching this beautiful scene unfold before my eyes. I realized they were a loving little family. The husband was patiently tending to his children so his wife could get a much deserved pampering. They disturbed no one. In fact, they brought a tenderness to the scene that changed the atmosphere from one of self-absorption to one of appreciation for team work, married love and family.
I'll confess, at this point I was feeling pretty bad about my earlier assumptions. I wanted to make amends, even though I never said or did anything to indicate my abhorant thoughts. When the job was complete and the family prepared to leave, all I could do was say to this woman, "You have a beautiful family!" Her eyes lit up as she uttered a sincere "thank you."
That would be a great ending to my story, but there's more. My phone rings and it's my daughter Shayna. She had been working late on some homework. We live 30 miles apart and when she called, I was still in town where we could easily meet. She was starving as was I so we were able to link up for a fabulous dinner at Cracker Barrell, stuffing ourselves with pancakes and engrossing ourselves in wonderful conversation. Had I not "exercised" patience earlier in the evening, I would have been home by the time she called and missed the opportunity to visit with her as well as the chance to be taught an important lesson by that sweet family. As things turned out, it was the perfect ending to the week!
Elder Neal A. Maxwell of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints said, "The Lord has twice said: “And seek the face of the Lord always, that in patience ye may possess your souls, and ye shall have eternal life” (D&C 101:38, italics added; see also Luke 21:19). Could it be that only when our self-control has become total do we come into true possession of our own souls?"
He continued saying that inside our impatience there is sometimes an ugly reality: We are plainly irritated and inconvenienced by the need to make allowances for the free agency of others. (Sounds exactly like me at the beginning of this story.)
A dimension of patience links us to a special reverence for life. Patience, Elder Maxwell said, is a willingness, in a sense, to watch the unfolding purposes of God with a sense of wonder and awe—rather than pacing up and down within the cell of our circumstance. Now how about that?
Confession over. Lesson learned. Grateful for my wonderful Friday evening. Choose to be Happy!
When I began blogging, it was never my intent to use it as a confessional. But an experience Friday evening begs to be shared, for the lesson I learned was so powerful I think it will benefit others to hear.
It's the much-anticipated Friday night. The end of a long week at work. Time for some R&R. Unfortunately, no social plans so I pick the next best thing...manicure and pedicure. What could be more relaxing than that? I enter my favorite nail salon and realize I wasn't the only one looking for a little pampering. It's jam packed. Do I wait or do I bolt, go home and eat leftovers watching a bad cable movie?
Reluctantly, I put my name on the list, pick my polish and take a seat. The waiting area is overflowing and I notice an entire family of five taking up most of the seats. The woman was there to have her nails done and brought husband, two toddlers and a baby in tow! I don't know about you but my first thought was this decision of mine was quickly turning into a nightmare. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out why this man wanted to sit in a crowded salon on a Friday night with three little kids? Selfishly, I believed this would become a serious disruption to the salon atmosphere of peace and tranquility.
My tension starts to build for no other reason than I am fixated on this family. The husband was covered in tatoos and dressed in a manner that enhanced his "thug" appearance. I'm ashamed to admit I began conjuring up reasons why he had to accompany his wife to the salon and none of them were complimentary. I was about to throw in the towel and head home for the bland leftovers when a thought crossed my mind -- chill out. You don't know those people and you are no one to judge. I took a deep breath and did just that, stayed put and chilled out.
Before I knew it they were calling my name. As I sat, I glanced over to the table where the woman was having her nails done, surrounded by her entire family. I noticed how well-behaved the children were. Lovely actually. I watched as the husband tenderly held his baby girl as the technician painted her tiny nails hot pink. I observed the wife quietly and lovingly giving directions to the toddlers. I was astonished when the husband left for a few minutes to change the baby's diaper!
Pretty soon, I was no longer self-absorbed. I couldn't stop watching this beautiful scene unfold before my eyes. I realized they were a loving little family. The husband was patiently tending to his children so his wife could get a much deserved pampering. They disturbed no one. In fact, they brought a tenderness to the scene that changed the atmosphere from one of self-absorption to one of appreciation for team work, married love and family.
I'll confess, at this point I was feeling pretty bad about my earlier assumptions. I wanted to make amends, even though I never said or did anything to indicate my abhorant thoughts. When the job was complete and the family prepared to leave, all I could do was say to this woman, "You have a beautiful family!" Her eyes lit up as she uttered a sincere "thank you."
That would be a great ending to my story, but there's more. My phone rings and it's my daughter Shayna. She had been working late on some homework. We live 30 miles apart and when she called, I was still in town where we could easily meet. She was starving as was I so we were able to link up for a fabulous dinner at Cracker Barrell, stuffing ourselves with pancakes and engrossing ourselves in wonderful conversation. Had I not "exercised" patience earlier in the evening, I would have been home by the time she called and missed the opportunity to visit with her as well as the chance to be taught an important lesson by that sweet family. As things turned out, it was the perfect ending to the week!
Elder Neal A. Maxwell of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints said, "The Lord has twice said: “And seek the face of the Lord always, that in patience ye may possess your souls, and ye shall have eternal life” (D&C 101:38, italics added; see also Luke 21:19). Could it be that only when our self-control has become total do we come into true possession of our own souls?"
He continued saying that inside our impatience there is sometimes an ugly reality: We are plainly irritated and inconvenienced by the need to make allowances for the free agency of others. (Sounds exactly like me at the beginning of this story.)
A dimension of patience links us to a special reverence for life. Patience, Elder Maxwell said, is a willingness, in a sense, to watch the unfolding purposes of God with a sense of wonder and awe—rather than pacing up and down within the cell of our circumstance. Now how about that?
Confession over. Lesson learned. Grateful for my wonderful Friday evening. Choose to be Happy!
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Think straight!
I heard a funny story on the radio the other day.
The DJs asked people to call in and tell about something they knew they "had" to stop doing. A man calls in and said he "had" to stop smoking weed. They asked how long had he been smoking weed before he came to that realization. The guy replied...once! The DJs were laughing and had to know why only one experience with marijuana would compell the caller to know he must stop and never do it again.
So here's his story.
At 24 years old he had never smoked marijuana before and for some dumb reason decided he wanted to try it this one particular day. He had a friend who provided a joint (marijuana cigarette) the size of his middle finger (a hefty amount for sure). He waited until he was alone and smoked the entire thing himself, which quickly catapulted him to paranoia planet. He was so freaked out he called 911 to report he had "died." He told the dispatcher to send the ambulance immediately and make sure they had the electric paddles so the EMTs could bring him back to life.
I couldn't help but laugh hysterically with the radio DJs.
The dispatcher tried to calm the paranoid caller down but he repeatedly insisted he had died as a result of smoking weed and needed help to "come back." The EMTs arrive, chuckling under their breath, and get the guy to the hospital where a giggly doctor administers something to calm him down. After a period, they release him and he is handed a prescription. He gets to the pharmacy, looks at the prescripton and all it said was "QUIT SMOKING WEED!"
I'm not sure exactly why I chose to share this story. It is quite funny. But it does illustrate a lack of common sense in our society today. People are growing up in this world who haven't learned basic common sense, resulting in all kinds of chaos in their lives. Just reading the newspaper one morning will demonstrate what I mean...
Didn't we learn in kindergarten to keep our hands to ourselves? If a 37-year-old Florida man had learned that simple concept, he wouldn't be facing murder charges in Las Vegas today. Apparently some man was verbally aggravating him and he threw a punch -- just one -- and it killed the man. Poor judgment for sure.
Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints had this advice:
"I have tried to isolate a principle that, if understood and properly practiced, can help you be successful in your journey through mortality. That principle I have felt to speak about is learning to think straight.
"I recognize that all of you are thinking...I realize that sometimes some of you think that you are thinking too much. But my charge to you this morning is to develop the skill and the capability of thinking straight."
So how does one go about "thinking straight?" In Proverbs 19:20 it says, “Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise...” In other words, be a good listener and as you receive counsel and instruction, extract those principles that will be eternally important in your lives.
Elder Ballard maintains we can all learn to be careful, fact-filled thinkers. We are living in a world which is crying out, perhaps like never before, for sound, solid, well-grounded thinkers. Straight thinkers do not make serious mistakes in life. Straight thinkers become good leaders. Straight thinkers are a great source and great power for building good in this world.
Choose to be Happy!
The DJs asked people to call in and tell about something they knew they "had" to stop doing. A man calls in and said he "had" to stop smoking weed. They asked how long had he been smoking weed before he came to that realization. The guy replied...once! The DJs were laughing and had to know why only one experience with marijuana would compell the caller to know he must stop and never do it again.
So here's his story.
At 24 years old he had never smoked marijuana before and for some dumb reason decided he wanted to try it this one particular day. He had a friend who provided a joint (marijuana cigarette) the size of his middle finger (a hefty amount for sure). He waited until he was alone and smoked the entire thing himself, which quickly catapulted him to paranoia planet. He was so freaked out he called 911 to report he had "died." He told the dispatcher to send the ambulance immediately and make sure they had the electric paddles so the EMTs could bring him back to life.
I couldn't help but laugh hysterically with the radio DJs.
The dispatcher tried to calm the paranoid caller down but he repeatedly insisted he had died as a result of smoking weed and needed help to "come back." The EMTs arrive, chuckling under their breath, and get the guy to the hospital where a giggly doctor administers something to calm him down. After a period, they release him and he is handed a prescription. He gets to the pharmacy, looks at the prescripton and all it said was "QUIT SMOKING WEED!"
I'm not sure exactly why I chose to share this story. It is quite funny. But it does illustrate a lack of common sense in our society today. People are growing up in this world who haven't learned basic common sense, resulting in all kinds of chaos in their lives. Just reading the newspaper one morning will demonstrate what I mean...
Didn't we learn in kindergarten to keep our hands to ourselves? If a 37-year-old Florida man had learned that simple concept, he wouldn't be facing murder charges in Las Vegas today. Apparently some man was verbally aggravating him and he threw a punch -- just one -- and it killed the man. Poor judgment for sure.
Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints had this advice:
"I have tried to isolate a principle that, if understood and properly practiced, can help you be successful in your journey through mortality. That principle I have felt to speak about is learning to think straight.
"I recognize that all of you are thinking...I realize that sometimes some of you think that you are thinking too much. But my charge to you this morning is to develop the skill and the capability of thinking straight."
So how does one go about "thinking straight?" In Proverbs 19:20 it says, “Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise...” In other words, be a good listener and as you receive counsel and instruction, extract those principles that will be eternally important in your lives.
Elder Ballard maintains we can all learn to be careful, fact-filled thinkers. We are living in a world which is crying out, perhaps like never before, for sound, solid, well-grounded thinkers. Straight thinkers do not make serious mistakes in life. Straight thinkers become good leaders. Straight thinkers are a great source and great power for building good in this world.
Choose to be Happy!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Awake my soul!
Working in a law firm is mighty interesting some days. As I answer phones and listen to people's problems, I find myself wishing I was a therapist instead of a call screener for attorneys. It is extremely hard some days to bite my tongue and resist dishing out a big dose of what I consider to be common sense. Rest assured, I know my place. I'm no attorney and I'm no therapist so I do what I do best and offer up professional services from the professionals.
That said, as I was reading the Book of Mormon this morning, a scripture jumped out at me like it was going to slap me in the face! Practically did, truth be told, because it was a chapter I read yesterday and I apparently just blazed by it without any sort of pause for consideration.
But that scripture wanted my attention. As I picked up the scriptures to begin reading this morning, I couldn't quite remember where I had left off and was glancing around to find my place when BINGO, this is what I read:
2Nephi 4:27-28
"And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?
"Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul."
Now the reason this scripture caught my attention is because it seems to me Nephi is trying to tell me -- tell all of us -- quit giving so much power to our evil adversary. Yeah, we are of the flesh and the flesh is weak...but I think Nephi is saying in spite of our carnal selves, we have a choice. It sounds as if he is convincing himself of this fact too. (That in and of itself gives me some comfort that even a great prophet must muster up strength and courage to fight the devil.)
So this beautiful Saturday morning, pick yourselves up, no longer droop in sin. Choose to be Happy!
That said, as I was reading the Book of Mormon this morning, a scripture jumped out at me like it was going to slap me in the face! Practically did, truth be told, because it was a chapter I read yesterday and I apparently just blazed by it without any sort of pause for consideration.
But that scripture wanted my attention. As I picked up the scriptures to begin reading this morning, I couldn't quite remember where I had left off and was glancing around to find my place when BINGO, this is what I read:
2Nephi 4:27-28
"And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?
"Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul."
Now the reason this scripture caught my attention is because it seems to me Nephi is trying to tell me -- tell all of us -- quit giving so much power to our evil adversary. Yeah, we are of the flesh and the flesh is weak...but I think Nephi is saying in spite of our carnal selves, we have a choice. It sounds as if he is convincing himself of this fact too. (That in and of itself gives me some comfort that even a great prophet must muster up strength and courage to fight the devil.)
So this beautiful Saturday morning, pick yourselves up, no longer droop in sin. Choose to be Happy!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
There's no Halmark card for this one...
Tomorrow is Father's Day and if it were up to me, every father would have a gala celebration befitting the very gift he gave us all -- life!
But as soon as I say that, I realize there are many out there who have no plans to fuss over a man who never earned that moniker. For whatever reason, these men provided DNA material and little if nothing else. I'm pretty sure Halmark doesn't have a card for that scenario.
What does it take to be a good parent? For starters, a healthy relationship with a child must involve an enduring love without conditions. It is through that love that guides children into active, productive roles in society.
Urie Bronfenbrenner, a professor of psychology at Cornell University, described love as an action word that is the emotional outcome of mutual involvement. “What we’re talking about is a love affair that doesn’t end—an adult who is totally committed to the child.”
In other words, love doesn't happen spontaneously...it requires time and attention. Unfortunately, people today are spending less and less time with their children. Many excuse their choices with the attitude of "do your own thing" and "me first." Dr. Bronfenbrenner said broken families and “broken children” are symptoms of that selfishness.
There is redemption. While you can't change the past, you can change the way you view the past. Instead of focusing on what the man in your life DIDN'T provide, be grateful and bless him for what he DID! Life.
We wouldn't have the opportunity to live this earthly challenge without a father. There are just 10 commandments the Lord gave us to follow: one of which is to honor thy father and thy mother. Interesting how we aren't commanded to LOVE them, but honor them. I get the feeling the Lord knew the challenges of the parent-child relationship. He knew it took a lot of commitment and involvement to nuture the feeling of LOVE. Whether or not love existed between individuals, he could ask us to show respect, proper acceptance or courtesy. If we simply follow that one commandment, the world would be a better place for all of us.
Happy Father's Day. Choose to be Happy!
But as soon as I say that, I realize there are many out there who have no plans to fuss over a man who never earned that moniker. For whatever reason, these men provided DNA material and little if nothing else. I'm pretty sure Halmark doesn't have a card for that scenario.
What does it take to be a good parent? For starters, a healthy relationship with a child must involve an enduring love without conditions. It is through that love that guides children into active, productive roles in society.
Urie Bronfenbrenner, a professor of psychology at Cornell University, described love as an action word that is the emotional outcome of mutual involvement. “What we’re talking about is a love affair that doesn’t end—an adult who is totally committed to the child.”
In other words, love doesn't happen spontaneously...it requires time and attention. Unfortunately, people today are spending less and less time with their children. Many excuse their choices with the attitude of "do your own thing" and "me first." Dr. Bronfenbrenner said broken families and “broken children” are symptoms of that selfishness.
There is redemption. While you can't change the past, you can change the way you view the past. Instead of focusing on what the man in your life DIDN'T provide, be grateful and bless him for what he DID! Life.
We wouldn't have the opportunity to live this earthly challenge without a father. There are just 10 commandments the Lord gave us to follow: one of which is to honor thy father and thy mother. Interesting how we aren't commanded to LOVE them, but honor them. I get the feeling the Lord knew the challenges of the parent-child relationship. He knew it took a lot of commitment and involvement to nuture the feeling of LOVE. Whether or not love existed between individuals, he could ask us to show respect, proper acceptance or courtesy. If we simply follow that one commandment, the world would be a better place for all of us.
Happy Father's Day. Choose to be Happy!
Saturday, June 11, 2011
I can take a joke...
I grew up in Daytona Beach, Fla. on a quaint street about a block from the Atlantic ocean. While the ocean part certainly made it a desireable location, it was the people who lived in my neighborhood who made it extraordinary.
Those wonderful neighbors on Georgetown Drive taught me the great principle of respect -- respect for all people and their religious beliefs. Christians and Jews mingled comfortably throughout our rather mundane life typical of the 1970s. Impromptu football games on the front yard, water balloon fights, bike rides, sleepovers, barbecues...all wonderful memories of a time when "neighborly" really meant something.
We were the "Mormon" family; across the street, the Catholic family and down two houses, the Jewish family. In between were peppered a variety of believers and non-believers alike. Our religious differences were vast but never barriers.
I will forever love the Solomons. It was through the thoughtfulness of this Jewish family at Christmas that made being a kid the BEST, supplying a cheerful Santa for all to enjoy.
It was Georgetown Drive where I first went to Vacation Bible School, attended Jewish Temple services and Catholic Mass. My friends came to Primary, a Mormon program for children ages 3-11. No one was trying to "convert" the other. In fact, parents were eager for our exploration -- not fearful. Learning about another's faith didn't mean we abandoned our own. In fact, these experiences introduced me to different religions in a positive way and helped me realize we share many of the same beliefs!
So why am I waxing nostalgic this beautiful Saturday morning? Because I am disturbed by the entertainment headlines heralding the 14 Tony Award nominations for the Broadway musical, "The Book of Mormon."
I admit, my only knowledge of this play is second hand and I plan on keeping it that way. One reviewer described this production in just two words..."Filthy. Sweet." Using the word "filthy" in anyway connected with the sacred Book of Mormon, is repulsive and yes, the epitome of disrespect in my eyes.
Now it isn't my intent to call attention to this hot mess of a so called entertainment vehicle. Some would say I need to "lighten up" and describe the potty-mouthed humor as a harmless evening of entertainment. But what many people don't know is that Mormons love humor and there is even an entire entertainment industry within our faith dedicated to poking fun at ourselves without stooping to vulgar and nasty displays.
My nieces will certainly remember the uproarious night we had watching "The Sons of Provo." I still can't stop laughing at the memory. This film shares humor without disrespecting sacred doctrine and making our Savior a cartoon character.
I am thankful for my life on Georgetown Drive and how those wonderful neighbors helped mold me as an individual -- one who respects all religions and would never seek humor in the irreverant depiction of things held sacred by many.
Let me just close by sharing the official statement by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints regarding the Broadway musical "The Book of Mormon":
"The production may attempt to entertain audiences for an evening, but the Book of Mormon as a volume of scripture will change people's lives forever by bringing them closer to Christ." I don't need to say another thing except...Choose to be Happy!
Those wonderful neighbors on Georgetown Drive taught me the great principle of respect -- respect for all people and their religious beliefs. Christians and Jews mingled comfortably throughout our rather mundane life typical of the 1970s. Impromptu football games on the front yard, water balloon fights, bike rides, sleepovers, barbecues...all wonderful memories of a time when "neighborly" really meant something.
We were the "Mormon" family; across the street, the Catholic family and down two houses, the Jewish family. In between were peppered a variety of believers and non-believers alike. Our religious differences were vast but never barriers.
I will forever love the Solomons. It was through the thoughtfulness of this Jewish family at Christmas that made being a kid the BEST, supplying a cheerful Santa for all to enjoy.
It was Georgetown Drive where I first went to Vacation Bible School, attended Jewish Temple services and Catholic Mass. My friends came to Primary, a Mormon program for children ages 3-11. No one was trying to "convert" the other. In fact, parents were eager for our exploration -- not fearful. Learning about another's faith didn't mean we abandoned our own. In fact, these experiences introduced me to different religions in a positive way and helped me realize we share many of the same beliefs!
So why am I waxing nostalgic this beautiful Saturday morning? Because I am disturbed by the entertainment headlines heralding the 14 Tony Award nominations for the Broadway musical, "The Book of Mormon."
I admit, my only knowledge of this play is second hand and I plan on keeping it that way. One reviewer described this production in just two words..."Filthy. Sweet." Using the word "filthy" in anyway connected with the sacred Book of Mormon, is repulsive and yes, the epitome of disrespect in my eyes.
Now it isn't my intent to call attention to this hot mess of a so called entertainment vehicle. Some would say I need to "lighten up" and describe the potty-mouthed humor as a harmless evening of entertainment. But what many people don't know is that Mormons love humor and there is even an entire entertainment industry within our faith dedicated to poking fun at ourselves without stooping to vulgar and nasty displays.
My nieces will certainly remember the uproarious night we had watching "The Sons of Provo." I still can't stop laughing at the memory. This film shares humor without disrespecting sacred doctrine and making our Savior a cartoon character.
I am thankful for my life on Georgetown Drive and how those wonderful neighbors helped mold me as an individual -- one who respects all religions and would never seek humor in the irreverant depiction of things held sacred by many.
Let me just close by sharing the official statement by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints regarding the Broadway musical "The Book of Mormon":
"The production may attempt to entertain audiences for an evening, but the Book of Mormon as a volume of scripture will change people's lives forever by bringing them closer to Christ." I don't need to say another thing except...Choose to be Happy!
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